The Way We Are Working Isnt Working: Exercises CH One: Emotional

The emotional security I experienced in the first nine years of my marriage was bliss. This relationship was a significant source of my calm and optimism. This disappeared in 2007 for the first time and flocculated in and out until April of 2008 when the source of that emotional security disappeared altogether. I have been in limbo between separation and divorce for nearly two years. In response to the ending of this deep emotional connection I struggled greatly. The absence of touch, stimulation, appreciation and care from my previous partner presented me with two choices: constrict, isolate, regret OR maintain a positive outlook, be peace, stay energized, stay receptive. Tony talks about the ability to recover quickly from an emotional set back depends less on what occurs in any given circumstance than on the story we tell ourselves about what happened to us. My story continues to be an empowering one. It is a story of unconditional love, growth, courage and transformation. As Tony suggests, I have continued to systematically train myself to be more aware of what’s worth appreciating and focusing on and to actively seek out people and activities that make me feel good about myself. Tony calls it realistic optimism. Some of the tools and practices that I have committed to have been picked up along my journey from business coaching and self development courses: daily exercise, balanced conscious nutrition, yoga, meditation, reading 10 pages a day of something empowering, listening to empowering audio programs, playing guitar, visioning and journaling. The more I engage in these practices the more positive emotional energy and security I feel. I am filling myself up vs. expecting a significant other to fill me up. Granted, I’d love to find the woman who is a match for what I am looking for in a partner it would be awesome to share that touch, stimulation, appreciation and care again AND not be dependent on it.