Self Acceptance. What we resist persists.

This week was an amazing week. I had many deep experiences touched me.

I had a woman call me seeking answers for her chronic fatigue; I offered her some meditation techniques and resources. These tidbits felt to her like missing pieces of a puzzle. She is so excited to put them into place.  

I met with another woman who is very depressed and comes to tears when feeling and thinking about her body. She has been exercising regularly but hasn’t begun nutrition disciplines AND after our conversation it still didn’t sink in to her that she can not out exercise poor nutrition. I take it as my short coming that I was not able to reach her in a way that she could hear. I am looking at my way of communicating these principles with her and I see that I have room for improvement at meeting people where they are. I have more to master learning how to meet people where they are and go and the speed they are willing to go… while at the same time encouraging them to meet their edge so they can experience growth. For every time we are willing to meet our edge, we expand.  

I was working with another woman this week, a client, and while working on form for squat kicks in the mirror I discovered something significant. My directions were to “keep your head and chest up, butt down and keep looking at your self in the mirror”. She complained that she was uncoordinated and that she had to keep looking at her feet. I didn’t buy that. Looking in the mirror helps build body awareness and helps to master form. I felt that this was an avoidance mechanism keeping her from connecting with her body.

I insisted she look into the mirror, keep looking at herself, connect with her body and focus on the form. She began looking up and to the right, up and to the left… anywhere but at herself. It became very clear to me that she is incredibly uncomfortable looking at herself in the mirror.

I was reminded that this body transformation journey is an inside out job. Clearly this woman has some deep judgments and beliefs pertaining to her self image and self worth.

We stopped. I shared with her what I was noticing. She began to weep. Her tears reflected the pain that is residing in her body. She abhors what she sees in the mirror. I see this quite often.  

It is my belief that until we make peace with where we are, own it, appreciate it, make no excuses about it only then can we work to change it. We can not change something we deny or avoid…

To accept ourselves as we are means to value our imperfections as much as our perfections.- Sandra Bierig

Every positive change--every jump to a higher level of energy and awareness--involves a rite of passage. Each time to ascend to a higher rung on the ladder of personal evolution, we must go through a period of discomfort, of initiation. I have never found an exception.-Dan Millman

Pain is a relatively objective, physical phenomenon; suffering is our psychological resistance to what happens. Events may create physical pain, but they do not in themselves create suffering. Resistance creates suffering. Stress happens when your mind resists what is...The only problem in your life is your mind's resistance to life as it unfolds.-Dan Millman

She said, “If I am more attractive then maybe then someone would love me.” She shared her journey though breast cancer and the loss of her marriage. She carries deep wounds still yet to have been worked through.  

I understand this feeling; however, the reality from my point of view is that until we love and accept ourselves we will not find another that will love and accept us. We will attract to us someone that will treat us as we treat ourselves. So, when we don’t love and accept ourselves we will attract others that don’t love and accept us either. We will create conditions to prove our beliefs and then gather evidence to strengthen our limited beliefs.  

Pertaining to the fitness journey, I have seen time and time again that until we deal with our emotional beliefs about ourselves we will continue to unconsciously sabotage ourselves so that we get to be right about how we see ourselves. When the beliefs change, the sabotage stops, the behaviors change, and the transformation occurs. Remember we see the world as we are… not as it is.

I am reminded of this quote:

You must understand that seeing is believing, but also know that believing is seeing.-Denis Waitley 

I recommended this client to visit wit Lisa Carmen, www.sacredsexyu.com

From the home page:

Life has a way of disconnecting us from  our sensuality. Jobs, bills, kids, carpools, hormones, responsibilities, body changes and life changes can leave the average woman feeling anything but sexy!

Are you:

• Frustrated with the way you feel about yourself, your body, your life or your relationships?
• Needing to reconnect with your sense of self, femininity or sexuality?

See the link for more.