Loneliness is an experience affecting most humans at some time or another, married as well as those who are single. The shift from lonely to self-destructive loneliness begins with negative self-assessment and is often accompanied with distorting self-talk that sounds like the following: “Something is definitely wrong with me. Everyone else is having a great life. I only meet losers. Nothing I do ever works. I will never get over my last relationship. I'm damaged goods.”
Consider this experiment: For the next week, imagine that you have a wonderful, loving relationship. You know you are loved. Feeling safe and secure frees you to do something other than think about relationships. Your partner is going away for a week. Feel free to write your partner as often as you desire. What interests will you explore while your partner is away? What will you do that makes you feel good? Can you get to know and enjoy your own company more? What do you think people who are alone, but not lonely, do? Can you choose to be alone instead of lonely, just for today? Can you treat yourself the way you would want someone who loves you to treat you?
Do you think your behavior tells the universe how ready you are for a loving relationship? What kind of world is your thinking creating for you to live in? Is your self-talk telling you the Truth about you, or are you indulging in self-pity?
Science of Mind - November 2013
Joshua's Comments: If you are identifying with the feelings described in this article, now would be an awesome time to begin focusing on your health and fitness. Start a fitness challenge or join a group fitness program. Be proactive in making new healthy connections with like minded people. Check out this study from the Harvard review on the power of exercise to combat depression.
Harvard Review: http://www.health.harvard.edu/newsweek/Exercise-and-Depression-report-excerpt.htm
Fitness Challenge Info: http://netfitcoaching.blogspot.com/2012/12/challenge-results-and-your-invitation.html
Camp Gladiator Info: http://bit.ly/1hT76PO
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